Mask (who we pretend to be)

If you could have seen through the mask,
you would have seen who I am.
Under this smile,
is something no one sees.
It's the other side of me.

Can you be the one?
Can you take away the mask,
and hide it in the past?
And what will become,
of me when this mask goes away?
Will I still be the one in pain?
Because to you I fear,
this is only a game.

My heart is the prize,
and no one can see.
That I need someone to see,
through what I pretend to be.
To who I really am,
Can it be?
That you saw through both sides of me?

Other side of me,
can it be?
Could you really see,
through who I pretended to be?

Who you pretended to be,
isn't who you are today.
It seems we played each other.
We thought we'd never see.
The other side,
of who each other thought we were.
To who we really are.

Take off the masks,
hide them in the past.
Know that it's who we are that counts.
Not who we let on to be.
Now can you see?

Untitled

When you know it's now or never

And you still chose to walk

Just so your heart can stay

When my mind thinks, my heart breaks.

When your mouth speaks, my heart takes.
Walking away and looking back
until you call my name and ask me to stay.
When this all ends,
You will see.
That I believe that through it all,
We'll still stand tall.
Even with broken hearts, we'll have open arms.
To let oursleves be,
Once again.
When you're lost I hope you find yourself.

And when you're found,

Don't forget me.
I'll ask you please,
Don't walk away from what you loved.
When we all think,
We're a step above,
Being loved.

Things Go Wrong

Lots of things always go wrong

That's why I wrote this song

When things don't go right

Know that I won't give up the fight

And when things don't seem to be

The way they were meant to be

When things aren't going your way

Know that I'm only a phone call away

Goodbye My Friend For Now

If you no longer care then neither do I.
Goodbye my friend,
one day I hope you wake up
and realise that you should never
push away those who care for you.
Know that you can always get a hold of me,
but i'm tired of chasing around your friendship.
Like it's some sort of game.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on,
someone to lean on,
or just someone to talk too.
Know that i'm still here,
and that I still care.
I've just pulled out my heart for awhile,
So things won't hurt anymore

Music

Music is life to some,
To most it's less then that
For those who don't understand
Then maybe you should try at least
Some people do drugs,
Others use knifes,
For me it's music that keeps me feeling
Like I am,
Alive

Friends

True friends never leave your side,
they are always on your mind.
True friends know you,
inside and out
and even upside down.
Even when you yell or cry,
you know you will always have them by your side.
No matter what or who gets in your way,
you'll always have a shoulder to cry on.
That's a true friend.
Doesn't matter how mad you get at each other,
you'll always work it out.

Looking Glass

When memories seem to pass,
Like ghosts in an untold past.
We see the image through the glass
And think things won't last
The note that was left,
Read clear as fog.
In the untold world,
That surrounds us all.
We weight the factors pound by pound.
And in this way we make no sound,
When we see that reflection through the glass.
The days seem to slowly pass.
Seeing through the looking glass.

Light at the end

I've been told there's always,

A light at the end of the tunnel.

But right now I can hardly see,

Three feet in front of me.

I've been blind sighted,

By these lies,

That can't be disguised.

If there is a light at the end,

I can't see it yet.

And it still feels like pretend,

Is there going to be a light at the end?

Rear View

If we stopped looking in the rear view,
And started looking through the front window.
Maybe then we'd see what lies ahead,
And not the past, gone and dead.
Look ahead and not behind.
You may just learn somethings in time.
With all this behind us,
Who knows what could lie ahead for us.

Paper cut

The story you are about to read is true, the names have been changed to protect the persons involved.


One day after school, I was staying behind to help out with our school's Christmas musical. Well all was going fine until things started going wrong. I thought I heard my name being yelled, I was in the theatre and the yelling seemed to be coming from the direction of the ladies washroom. So I look up the aisle of the theatre to see Bethany yelling my name and saying. " You have to come to the girls washroom NOW Katy needs you." Well I took those stairs two at a time that day. We had gotten outside the theatre doors and almost into the washroom when Bethany started to explain what had happened and why she came to get me.


Well it turned out Katy was cutting her wrist with a pencil sharpeners’ blade in the back of the theatre, as it turned out she cut a little too deep. So Katy had told Bethany there was a problem and got up walked out of the theatre and headed towards the bathroom. Well on the way there Katy ran into an old friend who was at our school for a vollyball game, gave her a hug then basicly told her she had to go and walked into the bathroom. Bethany had told Katy to put water on it to stop/slow down the bleeding. Well Katy was like no that will sting; I can only imagin the look on Bethany's face when Katy said that. But she put it underwater anyway and placed toilet paper over it as well. By this time the bleeding was still quite strong and Katy's first reaction was what do I do?! According to Katy, Bethany was scared just about out of her mind and had no clue what to do. Then an idea came to Katy "OMG OMG Call Black Rose, Get Black Rose, she'll know what do to".


That's where I came in, to see one of my friends with blood dripping from her wrist with it under a running tap and another one of my friends as white as a ghost. Needless to say I was a bit confused and trying to figure out what had happened, then I yelled at Katy for being so stupid. We came up with a brilliant plan though, find some band aids. I usually carried around band aids in my book bag, so I went back into the theatre to get my book bag and look for some band aids. Well wouldn't you know it the one day I didn't have any with me was the one day I could have used some, but I didn't walk back into the bathroom empty handed I came back with a pad. The looks on thier faces was like "and what are we going to do with that?!" All I had to say was that it was absorbent. We all laughed, which was well needed considering one of us was still bleeding and about to freak out. Then it happened Katy flipped, she was like "I'm going to die OMG I'm going to die. What am I going to do I'm going to die?!"


Well then one of us remember that the school's office was still open and we sent Bethany to get some bandaids. Meanwhile I stayed and made sure Katy was clam so her heart rate wouldn't speed up the bleeding. Bethany came back with two band aids. While we where putting the bandaids on Katy's wrist the vice-princpal walked by and gave us a funny look, then she asked the most simple question "Is everything alright in there girls?" Well what would you say to that?!? Katy and Bethany answered "Yeah it's just a little paper cut" Well the VP gave us an odd look and looked me straight in the eyes. All I said was "Yeah all this mess over a tiny little paper cut." Then we started to laugh at ourselves and the VP walked by us and didn't give us a second glance. We walked back into the theatre without any one else knowing of our little accident.


To this very day "paper cut" and "OMG CALL BLACK ROSE, She'll know what to do" are still jokes among the three of us who where there that day. A scary day at the time, but looking back at it years later it all seems so funny and so stupid. Katy if you are reading this NEVER EVER do that again, you scared the crap out of me that day. To anyone else who has ever cut themselves (not by accident), please (for my sake) don't do it again. It scares everyone involved and you may not have a person who knows what to do to get it to stop around.

What If?

We as human always seem to be playing a "what if?" game
you can't turn back time,
you can't push pause,
there are no "redos"
Well what if I hadn't done that?
Or what if I hadn't of said that?
Well we will never know
Life is make you make of it
No matter how bad you want to take back something
You really can't back track time
You take the situation and go from there
And though you may say "What if??"
Maybe it was not meant to be
Everything happens for a reason, we may not like the outcome
But it's what we've got
Take it or leave it
And yes we all wish we could 'rewind'
We all wish we would have said or done something diffrently then what we did
But life is unfair,
Unpridicable
And untame
But hey that's life
Answer these if you'd like
What if: I hadn't said that?
What if: we all were the same?
What if: there was no tomorrow?
What if: we never told the ones we loved we loved them?
What if: I was 10 again?
The list is endless
So stop playing "what if?" and live for today
You can only hurt for so long...

A Small Intro To The Way I Think And Feel

One week into this adventure and so far not much has gone right. But then again nothing has gone horribly wrong either. I miss having the ocean breeze to take the edge off everyday life. Most people are too pushy for my liking. I’d rather be where no one knows me, then to be here in my own home town. It’s not like I have a bad reputation, and it’s not like I’m always anti-social. It’s just that I prefer to be around the same people. The people who know me and who don’t judge me by what I wear, what they’ve heard or who I hang around with.

It’s like it is one big social ladder, if you don’t fit in you aren’t welcomed in a group. I usually get along with most people and I am usually able to talk too just about anyone. But I feel as if these “cliques” are walls I keep running into. I am not a “jock” in any sense, gym isn’t my thing. I’m not one of the “popular” groups. I am not an “emo” (that I am aware of), people always seem to think I am, because the poems I write and the way I dress. I prefer to be on my own with a book, some paper and pens, then to be surrounded by people.

But why does the way we dress or the people we tend to be around decide which “group” we fit into? To me that makes no sense. I try to break the mold to be who I’d like to be, rather then to who they all expect me to be. Although no matter how hard I push to crack that mold, something or someone else is forcing me back to what they think I should be.

I mean yes I write poems and yes some of them involve dark things or ideas. And yes I wear mostly black. But does that make me a goth or emo? The concept is ridiculous. Who thinks someone cuts themselves because they wear all black, hightops, long sleeves and write poems? It’s like saying every teenager who wears a hoodie does drugs, violates public property or is part of a gang.

Who came up with these idiotic ideas, why do they exist and why do some people believe them? Those are my questions.