Three years ago, I sat in the schools theater keeping myself busy... keeping myself away from the hospital... keeping her off my mind...
If this is your first visit to my site, or if you haven't read back very far I'll summerize for you.
In 2008 my aunt, my babysitter, my friend... was very sick. She was suffering for Wilsons disease, and very very ill. So to keep myself busy I joined the school's chirstmas musical, "bah-humbug". I always wished my aunt could have seen me preform my two roles in the play, not main roles, but still sufficient roles. Unfortunaltly she couldn't leave the hospital to come see me.
Four weeks after the preformence, I was attending a funeral.
Three years have since passed, and here I stand on the school stage once again preforming in "bah-humbug", this time though I have a much larger role. Hopefully this time my aunt can see me preform. I know one thing though, she'll always have the best seat in the house. Hopefully she"ll be watching over me while I sing my solo. I'm singing this one for you.
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Friday, October 22, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY
I know what you're thinking, I spelt the title wrong... but I did not.
I'm currently about half way through a book by the above title. The story line is as follows.
Hannah is dead, she comitted suicide two weeks prior. Hannah had thirteen reasons and thirteen people she blamed for her death. Hannah made seven tapes, each doubled sided execpt for the last. Each of the thirteen people she blamed gets their own tape, deticated to them, telling them why she blames them. Each of these thirteen people recieves all thirteen tapes in order to which part of her "snowball" effect life they entered and "ruined". Each of said thirteen people also recived a map prior to Hannah's death, indicating certain locations of which she mentions.
The rules to the tapes are as follows: "The rules are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: You listen. Rule number two: You pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy for you. When you're all done listening to all thirteen sides-beacause there are thirteen sides to every story-rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to whoever follows your little tale. "
The first of these thirteen, caused a romour that snowballed into something much much bigger. Beyond anyones control. The story is written from the point of view of one of the last of the thirteen to hear the tapes. Mr. Clay Jensen, I have yet to find out his role in the story as I am only on the sixth tape of Hannah's. But so far every point Hannah has made in her "last words" is so very true. Ever been invoulved in a rumour that got so big it was impossible to stop? Well thats Hannah's problem... or at least one of Hannah's problems.
Until next time... when I give you the book update. Never forget: "You can't stop the future, you can't rewind the past, the only way to learn the secret... is to press play."
Quotes taken from: TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY by: Jay Asher
I'm currently about half way through a book by the above title. The story line is as follows.
Hannah is dead, she comitted suicide two weeks prior. Hannah had thirteen reasons and thirteen people she blamed for her death. Hannah made seven tapes, each doubled sided execpt for the last. Each of the thirteen people she blamed gets their own tape, deticated to them, telling them why she blames them. Each of these thirteen people recieves all thirteen tapes in order to which part of her "snowball" effect life they entered and "ruined". Each of said thirteen people also recived a map prior to Hannah's death, indicating certain locations of which she mentions.
The rules to the tapes are as follows: "The rules are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: You listen. Rule number two: You pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy for you. When you're all done listening to all thirteen sides-beacause there are thirteen sides to every story-rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to whoever follows your little tale. "
The first of these thirteen, caused a romour that snowballed into something much much bigger. Beyond anyones control. The story is written from the point of view of one of the last of the thirteen to hear the tapes. Mr. Clay Jensen, I have yet to find out his role in the story as I am only on the sixth tape of Hannah's. But so far every point Hannah has made in her "last words" is so very true. Ever been invoulved in a rumour that got so big it was impossible to stop? Well thats Hannah's problem... or at least one of Hannah's problems.
Until next time... when I give you the book update. Never forget: "You can't stop the future, you can't rewind the past, the only way to learn the secret... is to press play."
Quotes taken from: TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY by: Jay Asher
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Cashew Cutie
Earlier this year, we saved a little (baby) rat from being eatten by snakes. Little CC (as we started to call her for short) became part of our family, even my dad was starting to get use to her. Friday night, my mom and I gave her a bath, cleaned her cage and left her to go to a basketball game. Today while having supper, my mother called my male rat's name Ollie, and he popped his head up, but when we called her name she didn't move. So my dad whent to check on her, and tapped the side of her cage, she didn't move. Mom and I jumped up and whent to check on her... we found her dead, and even though she was only a rat, she felt like part of the family. RIP little one I'm gonna miss you.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Years change how we feel about the past mistakes, wishes and dreams
When I was younger ( not too many years ago, I was about 12 or 13), everything didn't seem right... I don't truely know how to explain it to someone, but I felt as if I just didn't "fit in".
My family (and I) where stressed to the the extreme.... my aunt (who was around 30 at the time) was having health problems. She always use to look after me on Saturday mornings while my parents where at work. She was more like a big sister or a good friend then an aunt and babysitter.
Unfortunately things were not going so well... she ended up in the hospital. Which it wasn't her fault, it was because of the illness she had, the cooper (which your body should get ride of naturally) wouldn't leave her system, ended up in her brain. Which caused her to lose her sanity temporarily while driving, almost getting herself, my cousin (not her child, she never had any) and I in a seriouse accident.
Later on (a few months down the road) when my dad was in Halifax watching over her while she was in the hospital. She'd always ask where I was, my dad would answer "she's with Shelley" (my mom). And Patty (my aunt) would respond by saying "no she's not, she's in trouble, I've got to help her!" No matter how sick she was, or how unstable she was, she always cared and was looking after me.
Before and during all this I was at home, not knowing what to do I stopped eating (looking back I know how stupid that was, but at the time it seemed like a good idea at the time on how to get back at the world for what ever it was it had done wrong). I went over two weeks without anyone even noticing that I had stopped eating. Until one day... one of my friends discovered my secret, after that for the next few weeks she'd sit there and make sure I would at least eat something she didn't care what it was, just so long as I ate.
Soon after my friend got me to eat again, we were in Home Ec. and we watched a video called "The perfect body", thank god that friend was sitting beside me, or else I would have had an anxiety attack. I started crying so hard, I mean I was in pain beacuse of what I saw.... the movie is about a teenage girl, who does gymnastics and ends up becoming anorexic. I never got to see the end of the video, and I don't think I ever want to....
I began to write poetry and such as a way to escape everything that was going wrong. And to place a new way to take out all my pain, other then not eating. I didn't like others to read my work, they were mine... but one day someone took my book they were all written in... and read them aloud... it was a long time before I let anyone read my poetry.
Awhile had pasted since the poetry incident, and finally things were looking up, my aunt was in and out of the hospital, but I didn't mind, so long as she was close by and not in Halifax. I decided that I needed something other to do with the time I had on my hands, and to keep my mind off my aunt for awhile so I wouldn't be constantly worrying about her (as much). I joined the school Chirstmas musical, "Bah-Humbug".
The one thing that kept me going that year was the fact that the musical wouldn't happen with out me. I was the only one who knew all the lines, all the songs and everyones part. My one wish is that Patty could have seen me perform that night. That would have made me smile, to see her in the audience.
But that was almost two years ago, and now things aren't the same...
My family (and I) where stressed to the the extreme.... my aunt (who was around 30 at the time) was having health problems. She always use to look after me on Saturday mornings while my parents where at work. She was more like a big sister or a good friend then an aunt and babysitter.
Unfortunately things were not going so well... she ended up in the hospital. Which it wasn't her fault, it was because of the illness she had, the cooper (which your body should get ride of naturally) wouldn't leave her system, ended up in her brain. Which caused her to lose her sanity temporarily while driving, almost getting herself, my cousin (not her child, she never had any) and I in a seriouse accident.
Later on (a few months down the road) when my dad was in Halifax watching over her while she was in the hospital. She'd always ask where I was, my dad would answer "she's with Shelley" (my mom). And Patty (my aunt) would respond by saying "no she's not, she's in trouble, I've got to help her!" No matter how sick she was, or how unstable she was, she always cared and was looking after me.
Before and during all this I was at home, not knowing what to do I stopped eating (looking back I know how stupid that was, but at the time it seemed like a good idea at the time on how to get back at the world for what ever it was it had done wrong). I went over two weeks without anyone even noticing that I had stopped eating. Until one day... one of my friends discovered my secret, after that for the next few weeks she'd sit there and make sure I would at least eat something she didn't care what it was, just so long as I ate.
Soon after my friend got me to eat again, we were in Home Ec. and we watched a video called "The perfect body", thank god that friend was sitting beside me, or else I would have had an anxiety attack. I started crying so hard, I mean I was in pain beacuse of what I saw.... the movie is about a teenage girl, who does gymnastics and ends up becoming anorexic. I never got to see the end of the video, and I don't think I ever want to....
I began to write poetry and such as a way to escape everything that was going wrong. And to place a new way to take out all my pain, other then not eating. I didn't like others to read my work, they were mine... but one day someone took my book they were all written in... and read them aloud... it was a long time before I let anyone read my poetry.
Awhile had pasted since the poetry incident, and finally things were looking up, my aunt was in and out of the hospital, but I didn't mind, so long as she was close by and not in Halifax. I decided that I needed something other to do with the time I had on my hands, and to keep my mind off my aunt for awhile so I wouldn't be constantly worrying about her (as much). I joined the school Chirstmas musical, "Bah-Humbug".
The one thing that kept me going that year was the fact that the musical wouldn't happen with out me. I was the only one who knew all the lines, all the songs and everyones part. My one wish is that Patty could have seen me perform that night. That would have made me smile, to see her in the audience.
But that was almost two years ago, and now things aren't the same...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Dead At Dawn
One call, and they're gone
Couldn't take the fall
So now they've lost it all
The lives they sought
And never did the thought
That all they've got
Could be forgot
All with a simple thought
And when we wake
To find their place
Empty, as the soul
That was left with a hole
And with the words that will forever change
We stay there and rearrange
Our lives forever changed
Dead at dawn
And now it's all gone
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