Cashew Cutie

Earlier this year, we saved a little (baby) rat from being eatten by snakes. Little CC (as we started to call her for short) became part of our family, even my dad was starting to get use to her. Friday night, my mom and I gave her a bath, cleaned her cage and left her to go to a basketball game. Today while having supper, my mother called my male rat's name Ollie, and he popped his head up, but when we called her name she didn't move. So my dad whent to check on her, and tapped the side of her cage, she didn't move. Mom and I jumped up and whent to check on her... we found her dead, and even though she was only a rat, she felt like part of the family. RIP little one I'm gonna miss you.

Odd times... and good/bad memories

Well,
sitting there the other night,
brought back memories of the time,
when we weren't talking,
for god only knowns what reason.
And seeing that smile I use to know all too well,
made me want to cry,
but yet I couldn't help but smile,
because it's been awhile since I've seen you smile that way.
Hurts to know,
but hurts less now.
Nice to talk,
first time in such awhile.
Memories I love,
but yet hate,
all at the same time.
Would be nice to talk the way we use too,
about everything and anything that was on our minds,
and not have to worry about hurting each other with the words we say.
But I know that will take some more time,
can't expect things to heal overnight.
But sometimes things take too long,
and lately I don't really know who you are anymore.
We've changed so much in the past year and a half,
but hopefully,
you can learn to trust me again,
and I can learn to let you back in.
And some traditions I won't break,
like just randomly showing up with food,
having you down for peanut butter pie on my birthday,
showing up to watch you play,
and hopefully someone can teach me how to skate...
If I brought back any bad memories I'm sorry,
I never meant to hurt you,
and I know you never truely never meant to hurt me either.
But in the end it was nice to have seen you the other night,
the you who I knew.

According To You By: Orianthi

This is a song I find so true, sometimes you just have to look for someone who loves you for you,(I do not own these lyrics).

According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incerdible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
you're the boy who puts up with it.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me
you're stupid,
you're useless,
you can't do anything right.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you. [you, you]
According to you. [you, you]

According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.

What happends if...?

What happends when your bestfriends girlfriend thinks you are after him? What happends when she decideds your a bitch, a slut, a man eater? What happends if he doesn't know how badly she treats you? Do you tell him? Or do you just pretend it doesn't bother you? What do you tell him? "oh yea by the way your girlfriend is a bitch, and I don't think she's the best of people for you". But does that just make it seem like I want him? And that I'm lieing? Because I'm not, he's my friend, my very best of friends, and I don't want her to hurt him, because he's like my brother and I don't want him to hurt. For something I did or said. What do I do?

It's sad when...

Ok it's pretty bad when you're at your friends 17th birthday party,
And you and all your friends are playing "man hunt" (a game where one person trys to find everyone else).
And you get lost with one of your male friends... and by lost I mean LOST in the woods for like 20 minutes by yourselves.
And when you finally find your way back to the house... after you hear a bunch of them yelling for you.
And the first thing your "friend" says to the guy you had gotten lost with is "You can do better then her."
LIKE WHO SAYS THAT?!
Then that same person had the nerve to ask me if I had a 'thing' for the guy I got "lost" with...I was like "no he's my friend, and I hate being alone, so he and I hid together and I got us lost..."
No big deal, right? Like really? I seriously got lost and it's not like I was making out with that guy...
I wish some people would just keep their opinions to their selves...

Black Winged Angel (Poem)

Black winged angel,
That's what she is,
Everyone's saving grace,
But doesn't know who she really is.
Puts on a face,
Pretends to be someone she's not,
Just to feel like she fits in.
Not what others see,
But who she really wants to be.
Thats the angel I'm looking for.
Hides the sad,
By putting on a mask.
Wish someone would save the black winged angel.
Cus she's falling fast.
No one left to love her,
And when it all ends,
Will we see the black wings?
Flying high,
Or falling to the ground?
She's falling fast,
Needs someone to see behind the mask.
And with this I do pray,
That someone saves her...
Someday.

Leaving is the hardest thing to do...

Leaving everything behind me,
Forgetting everything I thought I knew.
And forgetting everything you ever told me.
Because I truely thought I knew you,
And now I see,
That I think I was wrong,
Maybe trusting you wasn't so smart.
Maybe life wants me to walk away,
And maybe life is trying to tell me,
That sometimes it's better to have loved and left,
Then to hate and stay.
Can't heal things,
If things aren't spoken about.
Maybe it's time...
That I walked away.
Or maybe it's time for you to wake up,
And see that I was still standing here.
And maybe it's time...

Sun Or Stars?

Which do I love more?
The Sun or the stars?
Which lights my way,
Through these long lost days?
With who does my heart lie?
Use to be guided by the Sun's light,
But now standing among the darkness,
The Sun has gone away.
And now I look upon the stars,
To know where I stand.
The question is which do I love more?
Do I turn to the stars,
Because I lack the Sun's light?
Or do I turn to them,
Because I love them more?
How shall I know?
Do I turn away from all light?
Or do I try to find a new light?
Which doesn't stand,
Between who I was,
And who I am?

Ok Why Do I Ever Open My Mouth

Ok I think I messed up again,
Ok this isn't good.
I'm so sorry I opened my big mouth,
And told you how I felt about her.
Seriously why did you even let me speak?
I'm sorry bud.
Urg why do I always have to say what I think?
I'm sorry,
Please don't let anything I had to say,
Effect your opinion of her.

Burnt Bridges

I've burnt too many bridges too many times.
And hopefully I can build this one once again.
But I know that I've caused some pain.
And I truely do not want to do that agian.
And somehow in our minds,
It was easier to walk away.
Then to try repair these left overs.
But to me,
It felt the right thing to do,
To try to rebuild.
But sometimes,
Both sides of the bridge don't agree.
And that's what I think happend.
Have to put your pride aside,
Or else you're not going to get anywhere in life.
Sometimes,
Though you just have to let the ashes settle,
Before the reconstruction can begin.
And maybe that was just the case this time.
Sometimes we win,
And others we lose.
But in the end everything works out for the best.
We may not like the outcome at the time,
But in the end,
It becomes the best outcome.